Positively Kick Ass

Vocab list

 The right man for the job.

The right man for the job.

Study up! These will all be on the test.

1. codswallopped, adj. Stunned, as by a blow to the face by a large fish of the genus Galus. Sloppy misappropriation of n. "codswallop," British term of indeterminate origin meaning "nonsense."

Use in a sentence:

"I was codswallopped by the diagnosis of an invasive ductal carcinoma."

2. haded, adj. Abducted to the underworld by a pomegranate-bearing S.O.B. with a seriously funny-looking guard dog. Subject to bouts of intense self-pity alternating with wild hope.

Use in a sentence:

"Don't hade on me, dude."

3. overpantsed, adj. Persuaded by one's suddenly peremptory spouse to wear one's underwear over one's head, "because it will make me laugh, and I need to laugh. Are you really going to deny me this simple request?"

Use in a sentence:

"Some men look quite dashing when overpantsed."

Forza!
Gretchen

p.s. The photo above has persuaded me that a piratical look may be the best option if my lumpy head gets exposed to the elements in the coming months. If a mastectomy proves necessary - still an open question - Pete suggests accessorizing this look with a boob patch rakishly tilted over the conspicuous absence.

p.p.s. Big thanks to Shelley S and Ellen A for inspiration for the above. Big thanks to all for inspiration for the rest.